but no one's yet asked whether I write with a pen or a pencil

My paperback's going to be published next month, so I'm back into readings-mode: going places, reading from my novel (which I finished almost two years ago now, I've pretty much forgotten what it's about, all I have is the memory of the other times I've described it), answering questions. Which leads me to this rather uncharitable but psychologically necessary act: a list of the bizarrest questions I've been asked in the past year. I may come back and add to it if more return to my memory, but for now my top favourites are:

• As an author, do you call for more compassion in the world? (A: Yes? I expect so?)
• How has your childhood affected the person you've become as an adult? (A: See the works of Sigmund Freud.)
• Out of 10, how many marks would you give yourself for this novel? (A: Out of 10, how many marks would you give yourself for that question?)
• In what ways has being Jewish influenced your personality? (A: It's made me more miserly, conniving and inclined to control the world through the twin weapons of communism and capitalism, obviously.)
• (Not so much a question, but anyway....) I liked the story, but your book had too much detail in it! I got bored reading about all these details of Jewish practice! You should have put less in! (A: Um. Skip over those bits then?)

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[Tilly]

"Do you ever make your partner dress up as a werewolf?"